Kill Ron
by Loony Morgan
Summary: Just a bit of a tester, really.If you find it interesting or have anything constructive criticsm please do review.
1. Prolouge

Kill Ron

Disclaimer:I do not own any of the characters listed in this story.If I did you'd all regret it, trust me.

Malfoy had been tracking Harry's movements for quite awhile now, he'd decided that he would trap him in a hallway of the beaten path that he liked to go to to think or whatever it was that Harry Potter liked to do when he was alone in hallways.Anyway, classes were over for the day and harry was staring out of a window onto the forbidden forest.It's cool dephts had called to him ever since that night years ago.

"Hello potter, enjoying the view?" Harry had to fight the impulse to Stupefy malfoy's slimy ass.

"Hello malfoy, I was actually rather enjoying it.But then I spotted a bug." he turned to glare at the boy who stood behind him, taking in his pale face and even paler blond hair."A scrawny, greasy-haired bug."

Malfoy fought down the impulse to pummel him, he wouldn't get anywhere that way.He needed harry on his side.You're so very funny potter.Ha ha, but anyway I have a favor to ask of you,"

He looked back at malfoy as though he'd just told him he'd decided to take up irsih river stomp along with becoming a clergymen."Why in the hell would I do anything for you?You, the guy who's made my life a living hell since day one?You the guy who's father tried to off me.You who has a cooler last name, I mean come on_!Harry?I_ mean, honestly!" Malfoy plucked at the threads of his robe this wasn't going as bad as he thought, he'd always known harry was jealous of his name, I mean who wasn't?Draco means dragon in latin or something!"I know I know i've been a right prick haven't I?" he suddenly grabbed harry's hands and bowed furiously.

"But i'll take it all back and even make out with you if you can get me a date with Granger, please?I'm begging you!"

Well that was unexcpected, stay tuned for more Harry potter Loony Morgan style...ish.


	2. Twelve Knuts and a Dungbomb

Again. Disclaimer:I do not own these characters, if I did you'd all cower in fear.Do you hear me?COWER!!!!!MUAHAHAHAHAHAH- Cough hack cough WHEEEEEEZZZZZE

anyways...

Chapter 1:Twelve Knuts and a Dungbomb.

Harry wasn't very sure what to say to malfoy's pleas, was he really going to set up this weasel who was his mortal enemy with Hermione, one of his best friends?

"Well malfoy, i'll tell you this right here and now if you don't already know:Hermione thinks your a slimy, self-important git who's too hung up on bloodlines." harry watched malfoy's face cave-in, this was actually rather fun. "Also if I even mentioned the words 'malfoy' and 'date' in the same sentence she would bombardier my a-"

Malfoy was on his hands and knees now grabbing onto the front of harry's robes. "Please please _please?_I'm begging you!I can pay for anything you need I swear it." Malfoy was shaking harry like a madman."Just get me a date with granger tell her i've changed and i'll start down the right path!I'll stop kicking puppies and sticking first-years to walls just one date is all I ask!"

At that moment, don't ask me why. (Even if I _am _the one telling this little misadventure.) Fred and George's mischief senses must've tingled, because they appeared almost by magic, next to the unlikely duo. "Well well little malfoy fancies our hermione does he?" George said as they circled harry and malfoy like a pair of wolves homing in on their prey. "Say George, didn't little hermi start dating Ron this term?" Fred smacked his hand to his forehead and widened his eyes dramtically say anything you like about this pair but one thing was for sure, they knew how to play an audience.

"Quite right you are george, it near slipped my mind."

_Well that settles that._Harry was relieved by the twins words malfoy didn't have a chance against ron in hermione's heart.Malfoy sat down on a nearby windowsill and pondered this turn of events. "Only one thingto do then..." he snapped his fingers at Fred and George. "You two!I'm hiring you to kill your brother Ron Weasley, so I Draco Malfoy will have a clear path to Hermione's heart!" Harry was stunned, they wouldn't actually do it would they?

Fred and George gasped "Why we would never!Would we George?" Fred seemed to actually be thinking about it, then he grinned at malfoy. "How much would you be paying us?We can't do it for pennies you know." Malfoy rummaged around in his pockets and showed them the contents-twelve knuts and a dungbomb."Of course, i'll be getting more sent me next month for allowance b-" Two befreckled hands snatched the contents of his palm.

"Done!Our services sold for twelve knuts and a dungbomb!"

To be continued!Stayed tuned to see what happens to harry!


	3. Harry, come out of the closet

So in the midst of there dealings everyone seemed to have forgotten about Harry Potter, the-boy-who-lived-to-annoy.So he'd decided to sneak away and tell hermione post haste about malfoy's plan and ron about his brother's apparent evilness when headless nick popped out of a wall to say hello. "WHY hello young potter!" he said rather loudly harry was convinced he was in cahoots. "WHATEVER are you doing in this deserted hallway?It's SUSPICIOUS." harry waved his arms frantically. "Ssssh!I just snuck away from a dirty deal so i'm going to warn the appropriate people, DON'T YOU DARE MESS IT UP!" oh bugger he'd just yelled that last part and now malfoy was running towards him with his two new hitmen in tow. "Not so fast potter!_Petrificus Totalus." _harry landed with a thud and a smug malfoy looked down on him. "Boys put him in a broom closet."

Fred and george stuck out their hands in typical bellboy fashion."What?" the twins grinned devilishly. "In our current deal we agreed to kill little ronny for the agreed price." said fred as he made the universal sign for money. "So in short, that'll be extra," his brother patted him on the back. "Mum always said you were the smart one." malfoy sighed and stare up at the ceiling as if it would give him all the answers he knew that deal was too simple. "Fine!Just put him in a bloody broom closet and you'll get your extra!" Fred pulled out a calculator (Or the magic equivalent, whatever.) and put in the numbers. "Plus physical labour that'll be...200 galleons, no cash or debit is accepted and all checks are scorned." he stowed it back into his pocket as he and george hoisted poor harry into an old, dusty broom closet that looked as though it hadn't been used for years.

What had malfoy gotten himself into?


End file.
